You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am puke
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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