I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
