I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
