I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
