Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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