3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
