im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
