So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
