I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
