I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
