instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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