370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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