Say something about gay babies.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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