Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
