Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
