Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
