Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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