Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
