Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize