I haven't been this sober since birth.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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