think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
