I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
