Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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