Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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