so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
