So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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