I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
