Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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