On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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