Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
