I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
