I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
