So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
