I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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