I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
