i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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