woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize