i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
