Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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