You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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