I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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