I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
