yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
