i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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