Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
