Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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