also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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