That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize