dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
