How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Your cock deserves a montage
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
