He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
