it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
