in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
