great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
