He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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