wakey wakey hands off snakey
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
