I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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