And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
