yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
