I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
