the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
