i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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