the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
